Rihanna

I recently had the misfortune of hearing Rihanna's new song "S&M." At least I believe it's new - I don't listen to the radio much, and apparently that's for a good reason. The lyrics are truly a paragon for class:

"I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it,
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but whips and chains excite me"

Rihanna - S&M

I don't even know where to begin. First of all, the song itself, regardless of who is singing it, is completely over the proverbial line. Why anyone wants to listen to a song about what sexual fetishes is beyond me. The beat being as catchy as it is just adds insult to injury. Not only does the song offend me, now I also can't get it out of my head.

I digress. My biggest issue with the song is the person who sings it. Rihanna's career was skyrocketed by an early relationship with singer Chris Brown. More infamously, that relationship turned out to be an abusive one, culminating in Brown's arrest. Rihanna quickly became the celebrity face for domestic violence, much like Howie Mandel and obsessive compulsive disorder. After the arrest, stemming from a fight the night prior to the 2010 Grammy's that led to hospitalization, Rihanna returned to Brown to rekindle the relationship. Shortly thereafter she left him, apparently solely because she doesn't want another's coffin on her conscience. According to an interview with Good Morning, America, she cites her "uncoditional love" for Brown as the reason she stayed with him throughout the abuse, and her realization that she could be a role model for other girls in similar situations as her reason for finally leaving.

Basically, had she not been in the spotlight, she'd still be with him.

But again, I digress. Now that I've reviewed Rihanna's history with domestic violence and abuse, her new single should be that much more appalling. Especially coming on the heels of her duet with Eminem "Love the Way You Lie" which documents an abusive relationship, culminating in

"if she ever tries to fucking leave again,
i'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire...
just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
but that's alright because I like the way it hurts,
just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
but that's alright, because i love the way you lie,
love the way you lie"

Eminem has been arrested and convicted several times of assault on his (ex?)wife Kim, and as mentioned, Rihanna has been on the receiving end of such assault. With such graphic lyrics, the two of them both say it is not glorifying domestic violence or abusive relationships, but simply exhibiting the cycle of abuse involved. The constant apologies and lies by Eminem in the song, according to interviews with him, are there to show how those who abuse are liars - that the Honeymoon phase that follows a fight in the cycle of violence is transient.

You gotta hand it to her. She really was trying to be posterchild for domestic violence awareness.

But then she comes out with this new gem. The S&M song that this is all really about. I guess having undergone such trauma, and having helped raise public awareness of such violence provided only a short lived high for Rihanna. Instead of helping to take a stand against abuse, she'd rather sing about enjoying it.

How appropriate is it for a woman who just last year quite publicly ended a relationship with a man who had been arrested for abusing her to sing about enjoying violence, whether that violence is sexual in nature or not. I understand that the fetish is completely separate from domestic violence, and one certainly does not denote the other, but Rihanna herself admitted she is a role model for young girls.

How can you call yourself a role model and then sing about pain being your pleasure? Whether the song deals directly with abusive relationships or not is irrelevant - of course the connection to her past will be made.

"For some, S&M is hot. Fine. To each their own. If you want to be whipped, deprived of oxygen, paddled, and scratched, good for you. But please do not decry violence on a national stage, proclaim yourself a victim, and then talk about how violence is a turn-on. If violence gets you going, keep it private, especially when you're such a public victim."
The Stir

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Take a stand against domestic violence and relationship abuse, Rihanna. Don't fall for the business of selling sex.