Self Deprecation

I went to a hockey game last night with a small group of quite fun people. The group sitting just behind us was also a funny, energetic, hockey-loving bunch, that helped fuel my intrigue in the game.

Unfortunately, there was the token girl who was trying to hard to hang with the guys. Inevitably, that requires self-deprecation. Not just self, though - it's one thing to make fun of one's own person, but don't bring the whole gender down with you.

"I had a lot of problems with Verizon because, well, I'm a girl (haha!), so I'm like always dropping my phone..."

HAHA! Isn't it like so hilarious how clumsy and incapable of taking care of electronics women are? I'm sure the guys she was with had so much more respect for her, and women in general, after that comment.

How often do you hear men talk like that? "As a man..." or "since I'm a man..." or other similar phrases, if used at all, or used in conjunction with pride. Women seem to have missed that memo.

We equate any inadequacies, perceived or actual, to our gender. And publicly. Because women don't have enough obstacles to overcome, so it's good that anytime we talk about our flaws, we make sure to mention that it's standard practice for the female half of the species to have such imperfections.

I wanted to say something to that woman. About how, as a woman, I rarely, if ever drop my phone, and only once had any problems with my phone. In 10 years.

And, that, as a woman, it offends me that she would talk about my gender in that way. That if she is clumsy and can't take care of her own expensive electronics, then that is her problem, not women's. But, admittedly, I didn't.

I wonder if it would have made a difference. I pick my battles, and a sports arena during a close game is not the best venue.

I have my flaws, but those are my flaws, that I alone am responsible for. That I alone can strive to change. Attributing imperfections to the fault of women everywhere serves to help keep a patriarchy in place. How can we ask men to respect women when clearly, we aren't even respecting ourselves?

Being a woman does not mean being clumsy, or dumb, or a bad driver, anymore than it means we have to clean and cook and be Suzy Homemaker.

So, to the woman who sat behind me at last night's Rangers game, please show some pride in your gender. Some respect for what it means to be a woman. There is no need to belittle women, especially in a culture designed to tear us down.

Stand tall, strong, and proud. Because that's what it means to be a woman.