This is a speech I delivered to a class largely composed of young adults in their first semester of college. Obviously, most of them rolled their eyes during much of the speech, and when they did I tried to single them out with my eye contact. The brevity of the speech was due to time constraints, and I would much like to elaborate on many of the points. Counter arguments are more than welcome, to aid me in this process.
My first semester at UConn, a freshman girl was killed by a hit and run driver. She was walking home from a party, presumably drinking, and when she stepped into the road, she was run down by an SUV. Nobody asked whether she had looked both ways, nobody cared that she was underage and drinking, nobody cared if she was wearing dark clothes, or if she was paying attention. People immediately blamed the driver, and he is now spending the next 5 years behind bars. What if, instead of being hit by this man, she had gone home with him? And while at his place, he coerced her into sex. Would we still blame him for this violent crime of rape? Or would we now question her sobriety, and her decisions, do not most Americans all of a sudden change to victim blaming when the crime is rape? Chances are, it wouldn’t be reported, and the rapist would be free to do this again. On the handout "'The Rape' of Mr. Smith," it talks about the insanity of asking a man who had just been robbed what he had been wearing or whether he's giving out money before.
("The Rape" of Mr. Smith
"Mr. Smith, you were held up at gunpoint on the corner of 16th and Locust?"
"Yes."
"Did you struggle with the robber?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"He was armed."
"Then you made a conscious decision to comply with his demands rather than to resist?"
"Yes."
"Did you scream? Cry out?"
"No. I was afraid."
"I see. Have you ever been held up before?"
"No."
"Have you ever given money away?"
"Yes, of course--"
"And did you do so willingly?"
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, let's put it like this, Mr. Smith. You've given away money in the past--in fact, you have quite a reputation for philanthropy. How can we be sure that you weren't contriving to have your money taken from you by force?"
"Listen, if I wanted--"
"Never mind. What time did this holdup take place, Mr. Smith?"
"About 11 p.m."
"You were out on the streets at 11 p.m.? Doing what?"
"Just walking."
"Just walking? You know it's dangerous being out on the street that late at night. Weren't you aware that you could have been held up?"
"I hadn't thought about it."
"What were you wearing at the time, Mr. Smith?"
"Let's see. A suit. Yes, a suit."
"An expensive suit?"
"Well--yes."
"In other words, Mr. Smith, you were walking around the streets late at night in a suit that practically advertised the fact that you might be a good target for some easy money, isn't that so? I mean, if we didn't know better, Mr. Smith, we might even think you were asking for this to happen, mightn't we?"
"Look, can't we talkin about the past history of the guy who did this to me?"
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Smith. I don't think you would want to violate his rights, now, would you?")
Why is this such a crazy idea when it is the reality for rape victims? Why do we question a woman's past or her decisions when we should be questioning how any self respecting man could violate that woman in such a way? Today, I hope you will walk away with the belief that rape, like any crime, is NEVER the fault of the victim, and eradicating the system of victim blaming that is currently in place is the start of eradicating the rape society we currently live in.
In 1990, the Senate Judiciary Committee reported that incidences of rape were increasing at four times the overall crime rate. About 5% of college women are sexually victimized in any given calendar year, which amounts to between 20 and 25% of women being victims of rape or attempted rape by the time they graduate college, 80% of which are committed by someone the victim knows. On the opposite side of the handout, you'll find a quote from a college student who was a victim of sexual assault.
(How Sexual Violence Looks on a College Campus
"I was at a party and a friend and I were talking most of the night. We ended up in his room where we started kissing. He wanted to have sex and I didn't. I told him no several times, but he continued to pursue. He kept trying for so long and I felt I couldn't get away. Finally, I just asked him to use a condom. Immediately after sex I left. I somewhat blame myself because I could have tried harder to fend the person off. At the time, I felt the easiest way out was just to let him continue. If I had shouted, someone would have helped but because he was a mutual friend, I wanted to avoid a scene."
-19 year old college woman)
Compare your immediate thoughts of the quote and the situation with the rape of Mr. Smith. Are you questioning whether this is really rape or not? Are you asking the same questions you laughed at when we talked about Mr. Smith's robbery? The form of rape shown through this quote is commonly known as date rape, is probably the only crime that gets blamed on the victim. When a man murders his wife, he gets incarcerated. When a man rapes his wife, she remains silent, scared to tell a disbelieving world what happened. Who would even accept that a woman CAN be raped by her husband? According to research done by psychologist Dr. David Curtis, whether victims of date rape had even acknowledged their experience as rape or not, over a quarter of the victims surveyed had contemplated suicide after the incident. This kind of psychological damage is exacerbated by the idea that men don’t even realize they’re committing rape. 1 in 12 men have committed acts that meet the legal definition of rape and 84% of these men claimed what they did was “definitely not rape”. If men do not hold themselves accountable or responsible for their acts, who is responsible? The blame then falls on the victim. It’s time to stop this injustice. When a woman says no, she means just that. To assume otherwise is rape, and it’s intolerable and it is your fault. Regardless of what a woman is wearing, or how much she is flirting, we own our bodies, and only we have a right to them. I’d like to leave you with a quote from This is Not an Invitation to rape.com. “The identification of women as ‘prey,’ liable to be attacked on the basis of how they dress or as a result of all kinds of perfectly normal behavior, is a reflection of women’s subordinate situation in society at large. The misogyny behind such depictions may not be apparent…and it is [thus] taken for granted. The right to sexual autonomy to which all of us are entitled means complete control over what we do with our bodies, with whom, when – and for how long. There is nothing ‘inevitable’ about rape.”
Bibliography
Curtis, David G. Perspectives on Acquaintance Rape. 5 November 2008. http://www.aaets.org.article13.htm/
Flanders, Laura. Rape Coverage: Shifting the Blame. March/April 1991. Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting. 5 November 2008. http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1558
This is Not an Invitation to Rape Me. 5 November 2008. http://www.thisisnotaninvitationtorapeme.co.uk/
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