1 in 5

Somwhere between 20 and 25% of women have been victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime. This wasn't news to me. Apparently it is to others. A recent study of almost 17,000 people randomly selected determined these numbers. The study was conducted by the Center for Disease Control (more commonly known as the CDC), in conjunction with the National Institue of Justice and the Department of Defense. These aren't small, insignificant jurisdictions.

These are governmental institutions. You'd think a survey conducted by the government would want to show a reduced crime rate, much like how colleges claim their crime rate is much lower than it actually is. Yet this study shows that women (and men) are more victimized than most people know, or want to know.

I say want to know, because the comments on the articles I've read are....well unsurprising. It's a known psychological phenomenon that people will hold on to their beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence. In both the NY Daily News (a conservative paper) and the NY Times (notoriously liberal), the comments after the article are virtually identical in their distaste and disbelief.

The most common thought? "I know many more than 5 women, and none of them have been raped. Therefore, this study is wrong." Excluding the statistical fallacy in this line of thinking, there's two other major problems with it.

(1) how many people do you know have said "oh hey, my name is __________ and i have a horrible story in my past that i'd like to share with you" or even if you've known them for years, how easy do you think it is for women to share their story? especially in a society filled with victim blaming, many women never tell a soul what happened. And, news flash, if you're the kind of man who doesn't believe this stat, and actively tries to negate it...you're probably not the type of man a rape victim is going to confide her story to.

(2) many women who have been raped don't consider what happened to them "rape." these studies don't ask "have you ever been raped" and then give stats based on the answer to the question. They ask questions about their sexual history and whether alcohol, drugs, coercion or force has ever been used. The same women who say yes to experiences meeting the legal definition of rape, also say at the end (when that original question does come along) that they have not been raped. so of course your 15 women friends will not tell you they've been raped. they may not even identify their experience AS rape. but chances are, at least one of them has (and statistically, three or four of them have).

Next question: Well, if women don't think they've been raped, what's the big deal?

Good question. Problem is, whether women identify their experience as rape or not, they suffer the same psychological distress. I've often wondered if there is a difference, in fact, in healing times between these women (the one who identify as a rape victim/survivor and the one who does not label the experience). I would tend to believe it's more difficult for the one who doesn't see it as rape. Now this woman is left with PTSD (as one third of victims are - ps that means 8% of women overall) with no true understanding of why. Even scarier, over 25% of women contemplate suicide after the trauma.

Similarly, men say "i know many men, and they don't rape people." Well, statistically, 1 in 12 of them have. and better yet, 84% of these men say what they did was "definitely not rape." so why would you believe your friends are capable of rape? the rapists don't even think they're capable of it!

In the Daily News, the picture accompanying the article shows women protesting rape. Which led some commenters to display their confusion. people don't protest murder, because people who murder, well they don't care about your picketing.

Rape is different. Because quite a bit of rape can be prevented by better education of what rape IS. Because men who see that what they're doing is rape may just stop doing it. (I won't even delve into the comments about how the women in the picture didn't need to worry about being raped, judging by their looks....i think we can all see the problem with that comment)

Yes, 1 in 5 women will be the victims of rape, or attempted rape in this country. And really, this isn't that hard to correct. Sex education needs to include sexual assault issues. Men need to learn what constitutes rape. Men need to learn that pressuring a women, including verbally, into sex, is rape. Anytime "no" is not accepted as an answer, there's a problem. Don't assume she's saying no because she thinks society wants her to. Don't assume she's saying no because she doesn't want to appear easy. Don't assume she's saying no but she really means yes.

We've come far enough that women can say yes when they want to. Anything less, is a no. and it's a solid, non-negotiable, resounding NO. As in stop. As in, don't continue whatever it is you're doing. As in, if you continue, it's legally rape.

20% of women will be victims of rape or attempted rape. 33% of these women will suffer from PTSD. 25% will contemplate suicide. 8% of men have raped a woman. 84% of these men don't believe that to be true.

I believe all of those. Through my research, both experimental and academic, I believe them to be true.

And comments like those on these articles are simple proof that we have a long way to go.

Stats taken from either articles previously linked or: Curtis, David G. Perspectives on Acquaintance Rape. 5 November 2008. http://www.aaets.org.article13.htm/