Friday, November 25, 2011

Ugly Women Don't Get Abused

Sexual harassment is alive and well in corporate America. It's truly bad enough that women fear going to work because of the lewd jokes and comments made to them, even after pleas to stop. Add homosexuality to female, and it adds a whole other level to the playing field. Finally, add physical violence, in the workplace, that the boss admits happened but claims the abuser apologized, and thus was squashed.

Yes, Priscilla Agosto was slapped by a coworker, and nothing was done. I can't imagine ANY workplace condoning that kind of violence. But, oh! According to the owner of the real estate office for which she worked, the employee was ordered to apologize. So (s)he faced no repercussions.

Priscilla quit. Finally fed up with the constant harassment. Unfortunately, all too often the victim is forced to leave work, while the abuser goes unpunished. But wait for it:

"Odelia Berlianshik, the owner of the Williamsburg firm, denied the charges - and launched a shocking attack on Agosto's appearance.

"'Who would touch her? She's an ugly girl anyway,' she said of the former secretary. 'She made up a story because she didn't want to work.'"

Yup. And the owner is a woman herself. Not that should make too much difference, because regardless of gender, the owner would want to protect their own self from the lawsuit. But....that's the best you can come up with? You're put on the spot, and instead of taking the allegations seriously, and saying that your company would never condone such actions, you attack the victim? The harassment, yes, is alleged as of the article's writing, but the physical violence was not. How do you allow a work environment like that?

And news flash, Odelia, sexual harassment, like rape, is not about looks. Even if Priscilla was unattractive (which she's not), the way she looks is entirely irrelevant to any lawsuit. Any sexual abuse is about control. It's about proving one's superiority, of asserting one's power over another. It's not about sexual desire. This is one of the biggest fallacies involved in victim blaming.

Take this gem of an article from University of Central Connecticut from a couple of years ago, entitled "Rape Only Hurts if You Fight It:"

"Rapes glorious advantages are not, however, exclusively found from 2,000 year old examples. In actuality rape advantages can very much be seen today. Take ugly women for example. If it weren't for rape, how would they ever know the joys of intercourse with a man who isn't drunk. In a society as plastic-conscious as our own we are really to believe that some man would ever sleep with a girl resembling a wildebeest if he didn't have a few schnapps in him? Of course he wouldn't--at least no self-respecting man would--but there in lies the beauty of rape. No self respecting man would rape in the first place, so ugly women are guaranteed a romp with not only a sober man, but a bad boy too; and we all know how much ladies like the bad boy."

This actually got published. In a college newspaper, and no one on staff was asked to quit. Not even the writer himself. Although the paper has taken the article off its website. Attempting to sweep it all under the rug, but it was already saved for posterity in feminist blogs the world over. Now, including here.

Studies show that men and women are equally likely to victim blame. Although that's my own interpretation. Of all the studies I've read on the subject, I've seen equal amounts come to either conclusion - that men victim blame more than women, or vice versa. The idea is that men victim blame because they don't understand it. They can't empathize, and they don't want to feel grouped in with the rapist. So they blame the victim. Women don't want to feel vulnerable, so they distance themselves from the victim. In the end, the victim always loses.

Either we're telling them they're a slut, and they wanted it, or we're telling them they're ugly and that wouldn't happen.

This isn't about what you wear, how you walk, what you say. This isn't about your sexuality, your race, or your socioeconomic status. This is about control, submission, and patriarchy.

This is about basic, simple, respect.

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